When Your Kids Teach You About History: Visiting Pearl Harbor as a Family

I thought I was taking my kids to Pearl Harbor to teach them history. Turns out, they were teaching me.

From the Mouths of Babes

We walked through the Pearl Harbor Visitor Center with a 1-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a 5-year-old in tow, trying to explain what happened on that fateful December day in 1941. Innocent questions came fast and curious:

“Why did the Japanese blow up ships if people were still on them?”
“Did any of the people who died have kids?”
“How did the people who died get back home to their families?”
And my absolute favorite: “Why couldn’t the two guys (presidents) just talk about why they were mad?”

Lessons from Kindergarten (and a 5-year-Old Diplomat)

That last one hit me like a punchline with a moral. It reminded me of a picture I once saw about the life lessons we learned in kindergarten—simple rules that, if everyone followed them, might make the world a much better place: Share everything. Play fair. Don’t hit people. Clean up your own mess. Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. Live a balanced life. Watch out for traffic. Hold hands. Stick together. Be aware of wonder. Even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup teaches us something about life: roots go down, the plant goes up, and nobody really knows how or why, but somehow it all works out.

In other words, my 5-year-old just condensed centuries of human conflict into a single kindergarten principle: talk it out.

Little Hearts, Big Reflections

Our kids processed history in their own unique ways. Jake, age 4, wandered the perimeter of the USS Arizona looking for sunken treasure. He didn’t quite grasp that pirate loot wasn’t onboard—but the hope of finding treasure kept him happily occupied for 20 minutes at the Memorial. Max, the baby, was unusually quiet. Maybe he sensed the gravity of the place, or maybe he just understood that sometimes, silence speaks louder than words. And Callan, quietly whispering to Bryan at the wall of remembrance, said, “That’s so sad, Daddy.”

A Marine’s Perspective

Bryan, my husband, a former Marine Corps helicopter pilot, knows this place differently. To him, the fallen weren’t just names etched in stone—they were his “brothers,” comrades in arms. We had to explain to the kids that while these weren’t their uncles, they were men and women who stood side by side with others, risking everything for their country. Explaining the idea of a “brother in arms” to a 5-year-old is tricky, but they got it, in their own innocent way.

Why Matters (Even on Vacation)

Visiting Pearl Harbor wasn’t just about history; it was about understanding the price of freedom. We explained why we celebrate Memorial Day and Veterans Day—not just to remember a day in 1941, but to honor hundreds of thousands of people who have made sacrifices throughout history. And we shared why Bryan is proud to have served in the military, and why seeing this site is emotional for him. He may not have known anyone who died on the Arizona, but he certainly knew friends who served, who went overseas, or who were killed in action.

Lessons Learned (And Ice Cream Earned)

But this wasn’t a sad trip. We explained everything gently, in ways small children can understand. We paused for a moment of prayer, quietly giving thanks for those who served and the freedoms we enjoy today. Then we followed it up with frozen treats, because sometimes a little vanilla ice cream is the perfect antidote to the weight of history.

Final Thoughts: What They Taught Us

In the end, the kids reminded me that learning isn’t just about dates and battles—it’s about curiosity, compassion, and wonder. They reminded me that even in the midst of sorrow, there’s room for imagination, play, and a little hope (even if it’s about finding treasure). And maybe, just maybe, the world could learn a little from kindergarten: share, play fair, clean up your mess, be kind, and above all, look.

History, it turns out, isn’t just something we teach kids—it’s something they teach us.